If you are currently going through counseling with your partner, it is important to focus on building your relationship when you are not at counseling. Here are a few ways that you can build on the positives in your relationship while you work out the bigger issues with your counselor together.

#1 Notice When Your Partner Does Something Right

When you are going to counseling, it is easy to feel like everything that you are both doing is wrong. However, no one is messing up all the time. It is important to also focus on the positive and bring light to the things that you both do well in your relationship. 

Make an extra effort to catch your partner exhibiting behaviors and doing actions that are positive. Let your partner know when you see them do something or say something that contributes positively to your relationship. 

For example, if you catch your partner pitching in and doing a chore or task around the house that they usually don’t engage in, let them know that you noticed that they performed that chore or task, and thank them for it. Or, if your partner acts in a way that makes you feel good, let them know that you like what they did. Increase the positive energy in your relationship by acknowledging the effort that your partner is making.

#2 Try To Do Thoughtful Things For Your Partner

On the flip side of the coin, try to do thoughtful things for your partner. Do not get discouraged if they do not notice or comment on them right away. The more thoughtful things that you do, the more you will add positive energy to your relationship.

When your partner talks to you, really listen to what they have to say. Don’t jump in with your own story or conjectures. Show that you have listened to the things that they said. For example, if your partner mentioned that they are really craving some Mexican food, surprise them with a Mexican-themed home cooked meal or a night out to your favorite Mexican restaurant. 

Try to do little things around the house that you know your partner appreciates as well. For example, if you know that they appreciate it when you put your clothes in the laundry, resist the urge to throw them on the floor, and put them away in their proper place. Little things that only take you a few seconds to do can mean a lot to your partner. It shows that their preferences matter to you.

Take the time to do the little things that matter for your partner, and let your partner know that you notice when they do those things for you while you are in counseling together. Work on building the positive energy while you work out your issues as a team. To learn more, speak with a Keystone Child & Family Therapy Family Therapist.